Tofu and Shiitake Mushrooms and Rice in a Korean-ish sort of way (or, This Blog is not Froofie)

Dontcha hate it when food blogs keep going on and on and on with stupid words words words  blabla nobody actually reads this and you're all like, omagerd just get to the flippin recipe already, and you have to scroll down to the bottom of the page cuz you're really just here for the recipe?

Yeah, I hate that too.

So here's a recipe for food. It's good food. It contains protein, vegetable, and carb, which was how we were taught to make meals when I was in kindergarten and holy crap I don't even want to think about how long ago that was. It is vegan and can probably be made gluten-free, and I hate myself a little for even writing that.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, or to my spouse's elbow

Tofu and Shiitake Mushrooms and Rice in a Korean-ish sort of way

This recipe was based off of these guys because I had tofu and I had mushroom and I wanted to make a meal out of it. So I started following directions and holy crap, found I couldn't make the recipe without the spice mix that, conveniently, they were selling. That's evil and brilliant and I didn't want to wait that long to order it over the internet and also that's insane, so I made my own spice mix, based off of this. It sounds intimidating, but I promise it's not, and the whole recipe took maybe 30 min to complete. Really, it looks more complicated than it is, but I swear it's simple. Trust me. You trust me, don't you??

Step one - make steamed rice
Do this in advance. Keep it in the fridge, and serve as needed or microwave. Boom. Instant food.

Step two - spice rub - mix ingredients together

• about a tbs kosher salt, maybe a little less, that seems excessive
• 1 tbs brown sugar (you make me feel so good)
• recipe calls for 1 tbs korean red pepper powder. I don't have that, plus hubbie and I are wusses when it comes to pepper. I substituted with a pinch of cayenne pepper, and about 1 tbs paprika for the redness. You can do more chili pepper and no paprika if you are not squeamish about spice. 
• 1 garlic clove, smashed
• a pinch-1 tsp ground ginger (I increased to make up for lost spiciness)
• a pinch-1/2 tsp ground black pepper (ditto)

Now, I have a new kitchen toy, a spice grinder, so I ground everything together and had a lot of fun. However, I fully recognize that not everybody has such a thing, so just mix together.

Step three - now turn spice mix into marinade.

• spice mix (What you just done did.)
• 3 tbs soy sauce
• 1 tbs rice vinegar 
• 1 tbs mirin or white wine if you don't have mirin, like I didn't
• 1 1/2 tbs honey or sugar
• 1 tsp sesame oil 

Mix all together in a bowl that will be big enough to contain tofu, which we're about to get to. 

Step four - now make the rest of the $#@ food so you can frickin eat already

Actual Ingredients

• Tofu - chopped
• Shiitake mushroom  (doesn't that make you giggle? shit-takee. Tee hee. I have the maturity level of a 5 year old.) 3 or 4 mushrooms, but more if there are more people eating or less if they are huge mushrooms.
• 1-2 carrots or sweet potato. Or something else. Or nothing.
• Avocado
• Green onions or basil or something green on top
• Sesame seeds if you have them

1. Chop tofu and put it into the marinade. The original recipe says 30 minutes. I say poppycock. It marinaded maybe 5 minutes, and it was fine. Just let it marinate while you chop all the other things. 
2. Chop all the other things. For the sweet potato/carrot - if you're froofie, julienne them. If you're not (hint: I'm not.) use a vegetable peeler and peel them. 
3. If you are so inclined, burn, ahem, toast some sesame seeds now.
4. Take pot. Big pot. Probably non-stick, cuz tofu sticks like a mofo. Heat oil. Take tofu out of the marinade (but don't be too OCD about it, some marinade is fine) and fry it up until it's fried. Should smell spicy and yummy. Remove from pot onto plate. 
5. Recipe says use more oil. I don't really think it's necessary, but if you want, go ahead. Now fry mushrooms, apparently 3-4 minutes, but I only did 1-2 minutes because I think the sweet potatoes needed cooking more than mushrooms needed cooking. Now add carrots/sweet potatoes and fry them too. Add tofu. If you want it more goopy, add marinade. If you want it less goopy, add less marinade. 
6. Put rice in bowls. Top with tofu mushroom thing on one side, avocado slices on the other side (they are a nice counterpart to the spice), then green things, and if you're really fancy, toasted sesame seeds.
7. Nom.