Homemade mayonnaise - turns out, not that hard

I've been meaning to make mayonnaise for a long loooong time now - basically since Julie and Julia came out. I keep reading that it's not so hard. But...we barely ever use mayonnaise at all, so it's hard to justify making it when the store-bought one is tiny, cheap, and lasts us pretty much forever. (Really the only thing we regularly use mayonnaise for is for distracting the cat when we clip her claws - during which she makes the most hilarious sounds that waver between utter bliss and pure hatred. We really need to put a video up on youtube one of these days.) Anyway, it's hard to justify making homemade mayonnaise for your cat. Not impossible, but hard.

Today, however, life (and by life I mean our upstairs neighbors) handed us bread. We had the tomatoes, we had the lettuce, we were about to have the chickpea-parsley-green onion-chives patties....we just needed the mayonnaise.

Opportunity to make homemade mayonnaise - I has it.

Turns out, really not that hard. (And cheap! And delicious!) I didn't differ from the original recipe much, because it's Alton Brown and I would trust AB with my life. (If by life we mean palate, and that basically boils down to the same thing, no?) I didn't have dry mustard, so I used regular mustard, and otherwise I left this recipe alone. Thanks, AB.

Finally, the recipe contains the requisite warning about raw eggs. To which I say, feh. I laugh in the face of salmonella poisoning. Hahaha. Raw eggs are delicious. If you are pregnant or have a compromised immune system, fine, go ahead and avoid raw eggs. I personally think all good things in life have raw eggs in them, and if they don't, they should.

Also, Salmonella sounds like and should become a lovely girl's name. (What? It's not more or less ridiculous than Yasleen or Shiny. with apologies to all the Yasleens and Shinys out there.)

Homemade Mayo

Ingredients

1 egg yolk
1/2 teaspoon fine salt
1/2 teaspoon dry mustard
2 pinches sugar
2 teaspoons fresh squeezed lemon juice
1 tablespoon white wine vinegar
1 cup oil, safflower or corn

1. In a glass bowl (why glass specifically? Not sure.) whisk together egg yolk and dry ingredients.
2. Combine lemon juice and vinegar in a separate bowl then thoroughly whisk half into the yolk mixture.
3. Start whisking briskly, then start adding the oil a few drops at a time until the liquid seems to thicken and lighten a bit, (which means you've got an emulsion on your hands). Once you reach that point you can relax your arm a little (but just a little) and increase the oil flow to a constant (albeit thin) stream.
4. Once half of the oil is in add the rest of the lemon juice mixture.
5. Continue whisking until all of the oil is incorporated. Leave at room temperature for 1 to 2 hours then refrigerate for up to 1 week. (That's it?? No way we're going to finish that much mayo in a week. Anyone want some homemade mayonnaise?)

CONTAINS RAW EGGS: The Food Network Kitchen suggest caution in consuming raw and lightly cooked eggs due to the slight risk of salmonella or other food-borne illness. To reduce this risk, we recommend you use only fresh, properly refrigerated, clean grade A or AA eggs with intact shells, and avoid contact between the yolks or whites and the shell. For recipes that call for eggs that are raw or undercooked when the dish is served, use shell eggs that have been treated to destroy salmonella, by pasteurization or another approved method.

Hey look, Ma, I made mayo!

Next up: cherries. Because I have too many cherries in my fridge. Stay tuned.